This Just In: Monster of Mar-a-Lago

Reports this morning that the small Florida estate of Mar-a-Lago has been invaded by a large orange monster. Said bystanders, “he’s like Godzilla but more destructive.” Officials say the beast is impossible to communicate with. However, they believe his weakness to be his hands, which are, in the words of one bystander, “freakishly small.” Police warn that if you do see the beast roaming about, you should not attempt to disarm him yourself, as he is often seen wielding a golf club. One bystander who saw the beast in person noted that “it seems impossible for something with such small hands to grip anything, even a golf club, but he seems to have spent literally all his energy learning how.”

Officials stress that people should stay indoors with their curtains drawn, particularly if they are a minority, female, or disabled as these appear to be particular targets for the creature.

385 Replies to “This Just In: Monster of Mar-a-Lago”

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  218. Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  219. Hi just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren’t loading correctly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same results.

  220. Hi there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing months of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have any solutions to prevent hackers?

  221. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% certain. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Cheers

  222. Greetings from Los angeles! I’m bored at work so I decided to browse your site on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the information you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m amazed at how quick your blog loaded on my mobile .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, awesome blog!

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  226. Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the images on this blog loading? I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

  227. Heya! I realize this is sort of off-topic but I needed to ask. Does building a well-established blog such as yours take a lot of work? I am brand new to blogging however I do write in my journal everyday. I’d like to start a blog so I can share my personal experience and feelings online. Please let me know if you have any kind of recommendations or tips for new aspiring blog owners. Appreciate it!

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